One Small Thing: Charles Cumming
The object you see before you is an antique cocktail shaker
belonging to my wife. We have no idea where it came from, who made it or what
it might be worth, but it has been our close friend these past six weeks, a
stalwart companion as trusty and faithful as any Labrador or Cocker Spaniel.
The sides of the shaker are marked with measurements for a
variety of cocktails, many of them well known – the Martini, the Manhattan, the
Rob Roy – some of them, such as the Bronx and the Red Lion, less so. The names
suggest to us that the shaker possibly originated in the United States. We like
to imagine that it once belonged to Don Draper, the advertising executive of
Mad Men fame, a fanciful – not to mention illogical – notion provoked by too
many Red Lions, Rob Roys and Manhattans.
As luck would have it, a few days into the Covid lockdown,
Stanley Tucci posted the first of his unimprovable cocktail masterclasses on
Instagram. Encouraged by his wife, the literary agent
Felicity Blunt, the stupendously bald character actor gave instruction on how
to mix the perfect Negroni. “Use a good sweet vermouth,” he urged, warning
viewers against the popular brand made by Martini. I promptly dropped £38 on a
bottle of ‘Antica Formula’ and fixed a Tucci Negroni that very night. It was
sensational. So I fixed another.
Yet the cocktail which has eased Mr and Mrs Cumming through
April, and looks set to do the same for May and much of June, is the good old
vodka martini. According to the measurements on the side of our trusty shaker,
you should use one part dry vermouth for every two parts of vodka. Over my dead
body. Christopher Hitchens – or was it Ernest Hemingway? – suggested that
vermouth should never go anywhere near a martini; at best, the glass should be
passed in front of an open bottle for just a few seconds before the ice-cold
vodka (or gin) is added. That’s possibly taking things a
bit far. Tucci coats his ice in vermouth, then tosses it out through a
strainer. Wasteful, but classy.
By the way, Stanley also makes a great omelette. One night
during lockdown take a look at his wonderful 1998 film, ‘Big Night’, currently
on Netflix. The final scene, shot in one take, is a gem. Grazie, Tucci!
Charles Cumming’s new novel, ‘Box 88’, will be published
in the UK in October. You can find out more about his work here.
Stay well, stay safe, stay home.
