Shaggy Dog Stories
People often talk of the 'privilege' of sharing your life with an Afghan hound. Even the breed standard talks about how they look 'at one and through one'. These euphemisms for the diva-like behaviour of my constant companion are laughable (it doesn't seem like such a privilege when you are chasing her round a dark snowy garden at 6am because she has stolen the three year old's socks again). As a puppy she was more like a mythological creature - tiger striped, curly tailed, face of a baby griffon. Now, when she walks on her hind legs she is taller than me, she has the grace and agility of a big cat, and the speed to outrun deer and leopards (the breed's original purpose, hunting in the mountains of Afghanistan). Animals have been the silent partners of writers and artists since time immemorial. When I was studying art history, the moment I saw the photo of Picasso and Kabul at the head of this post, I wanted a hound. It had nothing to do with Picasso's mighty whities - honestly.
Here's Kabul again, at the heart of a gathering of writers including Simone de Beauvoir and Albert Camus. (Typical hound - centre stage, best seat in the house). What other great artist/animal pairings can you think of?
Elizabeth Frink shared her life with beautiful Hungarian Vislas, while David Hockney is always associated with his lovely Dachsunds:
Or maybe you've come across the work of Georges Rodrigue, who has built an entire career around his melancholy, haunting 'Blue Dog' - based on the terrier cross that lives with him.
Then there are the great literary cats - think of Johnson's 'very fine cat'. What are your favourite animal characters - Orlando? Black Beauty? The Cat in the Hat? Do you tend to write animals into your stories? Who shares your writing life with you? I grew up with beautifully behaved gundogs, so my own dog's disregard for recall is somewhat amusing to my father. In fact, as a child the only time I saw him cry was the day he shot his first and much loved gundog Zondar (the dog was 13, had terminal cancer and hated, hated vets). How on earth Dad had the courage to do it and spare the dog's distress I don't know. As far as Zondar knew, he was just off on another shoot ... Then again this is the man who sewed his own arm up when he slashed it open surfing. Makes Hemingway look like a pussy doesn't it?
The hound's current life is rather less majestic than chasing wild beasts in Afghanistan. I was squelching through the watermeadows with her a couple of days ago in the rain, both drenched to the skin, hair hanging wet, panda-eyed from mascara running down my cheeks. Just as we reached the waterfall, I did a Laurel and Hardy - stepped in a mudpool so deep I lost a welly. A man with a hideously well trained labrador passed by and looked from me to the hound as she raced past, leaving me floundering in the mud. 'Ha!' he laughed. 'Same hair!' What, streaked with grey and straggly? That's it then, it's happened. I look like the dog.
TODAY'S PROMPT: What are the great shaggy dog stories you can think of? Who are the brilliant storytellers you've met? Alan Bennett perceptively mentioned how important specifics are. Not 'I'm broke', but 'I had to choose between buying a loaf of bread or going one more stop on the bus with the baby'. One of the funniest nights of my life was spent with a writer in a pub near Greystones in Ireland. He had tale after tale that kept us all captivated - living in a castle with Poppy Barclay in the sixties with a tame pig was one of my favourites. Shaggy dog stories are often rambling jokes (think of the infamous Aristocrats), fabrications, pun-laden urban myths. Getting the balance between too many details (indicator of lying), and juicy specifics is key. What's your story?
