If the Tweenies had been around in William Blake's day, he would have known that 'I want doesn't get'. How many times do you hear 'I want, I want ..?' Learning to say 'Please may I have,' to share what you have doesn't come naturally to children. The crumbling financial world is pretty much summed up in this little engraving - the few people who blindly said 'I want' have brought the moon crashing down to earth and changed the world for us all. We met up with friends at the weekend - glorious sunfilled afternoon, leaves falling, acorns and conkers crunching underfoot. Six children and a very happy hound running wild through the fields. We stopped at the farm shop, shared sweet plums and a bar of chocolate - as we walked, the adults talked uncertainly of the future. It reminded me of the war films where people look out across the idyllic landscape and nobly say 'this is what we are fighting for'. It was a picture perfect afternoon - perhaps made more keenly beautiful by the trouble that may lie ahead.I was thinking of Blake the other day - there was an interview with the artist Billy Childish (painter, ex-Stuckist, performance artist, ex-of Tracy Emin, and bears an uncanny resemblance to my performance artist/painter brother). He's often compared to Blake. In any interview with him, the implication is always 'don't you envy Tracy's success?' Enough to make any man bitter but he seems to carve his own path (whatever you think of his work). Envy, covetousness is a tricky one - do you think you envy people you like, or is it just people you feel intellectually/morally/artistically superior to but have found greater success than you? That sense of schadenfreude (secret pleasure in another's failure) - are you sensing it yet watching bank bosses get their comeuppance? By a strange stroke of synchronicity I ended up watching the remake of Bedazzled last night. Pete and Dud's original inspired this whole exploration of the seven deadly sins and virtues, and as we reach the last one Brendan Fraser and Liz Hurley's attempt finishes it off. It's unfair to compare Hurley's devil with Cook's (though she possibly looked better in a bikini that he would have). Fraser's first incarnation was as a Colombian drug lord - complete with beautiful young wife, and envious employees.

Envy, jealousy is a powerful emotion and a great catalyst in fiction. What are your favourite examples? One of my best all time lines comes from Greene's 'The End of the Affair'. He wrote that the thwarted lover was 'jealous even of the rain' that fell on the woman's skin. The entire book is suffused with envy, jealousy, longing - and it destroys them. Take the pride of the wealthy older man in Shawn Colvin's song whose young lover could ask him for the moon if she would wear his ring - is that enviable? He may never have felt more like a man - but by the end of the song he's taking a pill and going to bed alone. On the surface he has it all - wealth, power, a beautiful young wife but who would envy that? A friend said to me the other day it's amazing how everyone is walking down the street in London looking perfectly normal, but we are all facing this uncertain future. Behind the masks we all wear, behind our closed doors who knows what goes on? This is where the story lies.
I remember having lunch with some new friends a few years ago. The house was immaculate, the food exquisite. As the baby fell asleep in my arms at the table, the hostess must have pressed a silent bell - a hidden door swung open and a kind old Filipino maid appeared magically, asking if I would like her to tuck him down for a nap. This is the Home Counties, not the far East, and it still isn't normal to have help like this here. At that moment, (thinking of the chaos at home), I envied the order, the calm, the confidence of the hostess. These days I don't so much envy material things as abstract conditions - space, peace, help, security, the time to write. That and word counts. A writer Mum at school (kids in full time so she is footloose during the day), merrily announces '2000 words today!' each time I see her at pickup. Envious? A little - of the time to achieve that on a school day (I mean, book three's barometer in the sidebar isn't moving very quickly is it ...) Where we live, there are a lot of older husbands off in the City with very glossy stay-at-home Mums casually wandering the aisles of Waitrose after school drop off, or chatting in the coffee shops while au pairs watch the children at other tables. Times like this suddenly everything looks rather more precarious. Is the grass really greener elsewhere or do you think it's true that if we knew the reality of other people's lives we wouldn't trade our problems for theirs?
Older man - younger woman. If you can tear your eyes away, I have this photo pinned above my writing desk at the moment because I was thinking about an Armani dress like this the other day (and yes, it is an excuse to gaze at gorgeous George). I remember spending a free afternoon from college window shopping with a friend (well, I was browsing she was shopping - this was the beautiful, glamorous girl who had starred in a Gerard Depardieu film and was dating a photographer in Paris). In Armani's Knightsbridge window we saw The Dress. The perfect little black dress. She tried it on. It looked exquisite. She could afford it. She was a great friend - loved her to bits but was I envious? At that moment, absolutely. Didn't show it of course, (told her, genuinely, that she looked beautiful), but I was green eyed with longing. This is a perfect example of using the 'method' to trigger emotions for your work. I'm developing a character in book three whose entire life is focused on her envy of the protagonist. Whenever I want to turn on to her emotions all I have to think of is that dress. Maybe there are things, or situations like this you can think of? The Frankfurt Book Fair kicks off tomorrow. It will be interesting to see how it goes. At one point the idea of selling the Book there was mooted - it isn't going to be. For months I've had it pencilled in the diary as possibly the moment when all the waiting, and hoping, and longing to see the book sold will come to an end - and now it will come and go, no relief in sight yet. The thought of all the other deals that will be made and books that will be sold ... envious? Too damn right. But good luck to them. As Winston Churchill said often during the Wilderness Years, and we said a few posts ago - the secret of success? KBO. (Keep buggering on). TODAY'S PROMPT: Patience, hope, kindness - it's tough to hang on to them sometimes, but it's grit that makes the pearl. Why not consider the things you are envious of at the moment? Jot them down in your journal - and get to the bottom of what you really want (more often than not it's not the thing you pin your emotions on). Envy can be the flag for what's missing, what you want to work for. Dig out the pearl and throw away the rubbish (is it really to be a bored trophy wife in a gilded cage or is it to have some time to yourself to write, to work, to be yourself not just someone's wife or mother?) Teaching children kindness, sharing - to think beyond themselves is the single most important thing we can do as parents. If 'I want' is the natural state, learning to temper this with thinking about what other people want and need is the key to finding balance. Maybe we've all grown to used to getting what we want immediately with easy credit, loans, easy mortgages. Perhaps this 'correction' can be a good lesson for us all. Maybe 'there are no short cuts to any place worth going'.

8 comments:
When I see evidence of overconsumption, I feel quite a bit of anger, rather than envy. I don't know if that's just my sour grapes thing. LIke when I was in HS and couldn't afford the expensive sneakers, I gladly turned to my nameless "skippies" and found my own style, saying I didn't want the Nikes or Pumas.
What I am jealous of, I think, is the time, just as you say. That has always been my luxury. I would rather have the time to write or paint than to make big bucks. I'm okay with living small, as long as i get to be creative. I am a bit wistful about that free time I used to have and some people still do.
Best advice I was ever given, in relation to creative work, was to concentrate on what I was doing and not worry about what others were doing. Which is sometimes hard when I'm feeling uncreative, but it is good advice.
It's very good to appreciate the simple things, like a walk in the countryside . . . cocoa and doorstep sandwiches. In today's climate, although I'm living in a cottage that resembles a large shed, I'm feeling quite lucky . . .
Sx
Envy...I don't feel it very often, but as my summer days of freedom have flown into hard days of work (shhh, I am on my lunch break for a wee minute) I feel myself envying the women who get to stay at home and write beautiful blogs and paint beautiful pictures of Flying Girl, though i know that maybe these same women would envy my quiet evenings reading or watching a good movie.
Taking care of myself, all my finances, worrying about the economy on my salary, worrying about paying rent and what to invest and what I have invested with no one to consult but my meager mind.
Crawling into a cold bed on a cold night always alone. I envy those who have made the relationships in their lives work and grow.
Yet, I love so much about the life I lead and the person I have become that it is hard to let any of this envy weigh me down. I usually shrug it off, dust it off, and say, alright then, what CAN you do today (instead of what can't you do today)...alright what DO you have today, (instead of what don't I have today) and that's the age old formula for being happy.
Make that lemonade, girls.
Hi Rowena - lovely new profile pic! Yes ... time. Lack of it is the one thing that makes me cranky (like the pilot should have been home for a few days, but they just called him in to the airport and all my plans for work have gone out the window as he is away for days again *sigh*) It's life though - don't know about you but you just do more with the little time available. And I agree - who wants to look like everyone else anyway?!
Scarlet - oh yes, never look sideways, and I think we writers in cottages who appreciate the finer aspects of simple living have it good compared to many right now.
D'Arcy - know where you're coming from. When I worked 9-5 in Chelsea I would be green with envy seeing people hanging out in cafes chatting over long lunches. Having a 'can do' or 'why not?' attitude gets us all through tough (and cold!) times. Sales of hot water bottles have shot up 94% in the UK. To hell with the oil prices - we'll survive! And on a cold night, why not try tucking up with a good book and HOT lemonade (with cinnamon or nutmeg - and whisky if there's a cold coming on or it's just been one of those days). Keep warm!
I agree with Rowena - I am envious of those with time. I'm envious of those with space too..I hava a little nook of my own but it gets invaded by the little one quite often. Sometimes I long for a little space with a picture window and a cozy blanket where I can read, sketch or write. When the winter sets in, I'm somtimes envious of those who can slip their toes into the sand while I slip my into boots but then I remember that without winter and fall I would never appreciate the beauty of the spring and summer. Now, with all the turmoil in the world, I'm thankful for my little home and my cuddly loved ones.
Hi Natasha - oh, I know what you mean. A few years ago I picked up a gorgeous glossy calendar in NY which was of Writer's Spaces (gorgeous little nooks and crannies stuffed with picture windows, blankets and treasures - things like 'Carrie Fisher writes in a custom built window nook surrounded by Navajo weaving and nik naks picked up on her global travels'). In fact it was a bit like a years worth of arty writer-porn! Compare this to my chilly basement table surrounded by boxes, teetering piles of books and damp walls. Perhaps I should just turn up the heater, paint a couple of canvases with the *dream* view (seascape, blue skies) and tip a bag of playsand under the table ...
I'm a big fan of the recession (with the obvious exception of repossession and bankruptcy for small businesses). Our economy is based on the absurd idea of continued growth, when we should aiming towards a sustainable level of consumption.
Has two decades of the consumer society made us happier?
I naively hope that this recession will give us all the opportunity to become more grounded and connected with the things that really matter.
These days, I find I am most envious of those who can pop off at a moment's notice - to dinner, to a weekend away, to go shopping for shoes, etc. I guess this would be a time thing, or maybe just a being-tied-down-to-young-children-all-day thing. I suppose if I had more money, I'd have help. But then I would miss the children. So, maybe money is not as much of an issue, as time. Although, one must have the money to go out to eat or shop, musn't one? *sigh*
I do find myself so much more happy and satisfied when I spend my time working/writing, so this might be the way to combat the envy and feelings of discontent. The better I feel about myself and my situation, the less envy there is festering about my head.
Interesting. Thank you for helping me sort this out.
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