R-E-S-P-E-C-T
I love my children to bits, but I am so relieved the school holidays are finally over. Parents all over Hampshire have a bounce in their step this morning, thinking of all the work there is to catch up on. Imagine if a grown up behaved towards you the way your own kids treat you sometimes? Would you put up with it? Exactly. It's exhausting, but we tolerate it patiently with unconditional love. I've talked to a lot of parents about this, and maybe we have rosy memories, but when we were small you just did what your parents told you, didn't you? When we were in the supermarket the other day, the six year old said in the special Very Loud Voice they save for public occasions 'Mummy, what was it like in the olden days?' Well, for a start you did what you were told - that and rescuing maidens and slaying dragons.
Our children's school has what it calls 'The Golden Rules'. A couple of years ago they sent home a copy with the weekly newsletter so that we could help encourage consistent behaviour at home. I pasted our copy inside the kitchen cabinet by the phone:
- Follow instructions
- Be Kind and Helpful
- Work Hard
- Listen to People
- Take Care of our School
Throughout the holiday if things reached the point of no return, I would fling open the cupboard. I don't know what I was expecting (a Monty Pythonesque divine light, the sound of angels singing and instant good behaviour?) but somehow reading through the rules calms the six year old down - maybe it's something to do with an accepted authority the school has in her mind. Whereas you constantly test your parents, don't you? You always know you've lost the plot by the time you're all yelling (I always feel like Cartman from South Park crying 'Respect My Authority!' to no effect). I had this picture of motherhood in my head before having children, an it wasn't like this. Each day during the holidays has seen emotional highs and lows. Kids can be so heart-meltingly sweet and gorgeous. This is what I envisaged - I just didn't expect them to turn into little gremlins the next minute. Of course, you only remember the good stuff in retrospect. This summer will go down as the one where she lost her two front teeth, learned to ride a bike and got bunkbeds, where the little one spent a whole day running after the hound at West Wittering Beach, outgrew his cot, and became a little boy rather than a baby. Just watch - I'll be missing them desperately by lunchtime.
TODAY'S PROMPT: Maybe you already have house rules or reward charts? If not, why not sit down with your children and decide which behaviours you would like to see more of at home? Part of me still believes that questioning authority, in fact questioning everything, sets you up well for life - but children do respond well to clear boundaries. How do you get the balance right, teaching your children to be strong, independent thinkers while behaving like a responsible member of society with consideration for others and respect for elders? Where do you stand on discipline - do you do the naughty step? Or do you prefer to reward good behaviour? Why not rewrite the rule book, and find something that works for your family? What would you like to change? They always say if you want different results, you need to find different ways of behaving. Maybe it's not the kids who need the 'Golden Rules' - what would you like to do for yourself?
